But what if I don’t fit?

Our kitchen cupboards are filled with airtight containers and every one has a label. There isn’t any confusion about where rice, flour, or the granola bars go. That’s helpful for the kitchen right? If I’m making a valiant attempt at making dinner I don’t have to guess between the pastry, white, or brown flour —…

Making space

Years ago, in the middle of an argument about nothing, a partner put it best “You make it impossible to feel anything but success, happiness, sadness, and anger. That’s it, nothing more.” And while I’m sure they hoped their comment would make me pause to reflect on the full range of emotion I’d cut myself…

On “yes.”

“Always start with ‘yes’.” It’s a guiding quote that I’ve held closely for as long as I can remember. “Hey, Romel can you/will you/would you do _______________.” “Yes.” No questions. No clarification. No qualifiers. Just yes. Yes comes at a cost.

30 by 30 or JUST DO IT

It’s time to publish my list of things I want to do by the time I turn 30. I’ve held this thing close to my chest for the last few years – really since I’ve come to California in 2009 and slowly but surely have gotten some of them done but I never let anyone…

Who named you?

I can’t make this stuff up. This post is for everyone who has ever asked me “what’s your name mean?” or “who named you?” I was on a call with Southwest this morning and the delightful person on the other end asked me “who was the romantic that named you?” I was speechless for about…

What he said…

Back in college I had the amazing opportunity to see the poet Iyeoka. She spoke words that helped illuminate parts of me I’d never brought words to. This piece was one that I’ve kept with me and is stunningly apropos. I’ve changed the gendered pronouns and some of the content, even added a bit –…

cut and run.

when you make the choice to end things, be ready for it to end. when he says that you need to leave by day’s end, bury your head in the pillow. ask him to pause and think about things. when he says “no,” switch into survival mode. call your parents. tell them what happened –…

I need a new dream…

Let me start this by checking my privilege. I am an able-bodied, college-degree holding, employed, middle-class male. This is my perspective. I’ve written at length about what my Black experience means to me. My journey of coming into my blackness, being validated by people I respect in my community and what it means for me…

God is with me.

I’ve been carrying around a lot of nervous energy recently and I’m pretty sure I know why. But first, a story.

From fear to power

fear |fi(ə)r| noun an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Or put more simply, that feeling that stops you for doing what you truly want to.

…and still I rise

Today I experienced a significant moment – I woke up to a notification from CNN that Maya Angelou passed away. I felt this incredible pang of sadness but wasn’t sure why. Yes, Dr. Angelou’s quotes had been all over my life. Yes, I’d read many of her poems. Yes, I’d watched her Oprah interview. But…