Update: 30 by 30 [Part 1/5]


A few years ago I wrote a post detailing a list of thirty things I wanted to get done by the time I turned 30 and, well, if you know me, lists are hard. I envy folks who are able to make to-do lists and attack them with rote efficiency but as I mature I’m continuing to settle into how I function most effectively and lists aren’t it. But, they have their uses.

So let’s start with a multi-part update of the things I’ve gotten done and then finish with a post that adds to the list – a 40 by 40 if you will.

  1. Cook more actual meals, real ingredients…no microwaves.
    Over the past 6ish years I’ve made a conscious effort to make more food for myself and my family. I’ve learned that while I can cook, it doesn’t bring me the same amount of joy that I’ve seen it produce for others. It’s especially hard to cook for a family of folks with various tastes, sensitivities, allergies, and/or when you’re devoid of energy/inspiration. Big shout out to all the people in the world who take on the primary responsibility of feeding themselves and their family. Whew. With that said, moving forward, I want to get back to making food because even though it doesn’t bring a ton of joy, it’s a therapeutic practice that brings me closer to my roots.

  2. Take friendships more seriously make time to see people, actually talk on the phone – screw texts, make time for people that matter, show people you care
    Since making this list, “friends” has become a much more meaningful label for me. There was a time when I wanted to be everybody’s friend, wanted to be chosen, flexed, stretched, and attempted to mold myself into what I thought the people around me wanted/needed and even though I was successful here (I’ve got a lot of people I can count on) it left me on “E”. I can safely say now that there are a handful of people I make sure I connect with at least once every couple weeks to remind them they’re loved and cared about and an even smaller list of folks I try to make sure I connect with every day. COVID-19 has made connections more challenging in a number of ways but I think I’ve done a decent job of maintaining those friendships that are most important to me. A month ago I moved (temporarily? permanently?) away from California back to the East Coast to hit a reset button of sorts. It’s been good for me so far but admittedly I haven’t shared this development widely. There’s a lot of shame, embarrassment, fear, anger, and probably a whole list of emotions that’s wrapped up in this decision but I sense that it’s time for me to rekindle past friendships and create new meaningful ones.

  3. Go camping in a tent, make a fire, cook outside, learn how to survive outside
    So I still don’t enjoy the outdoors. My idea of a good time is relaxing inside reading a book, on a device, playing a video game, or spending time with people I love so this goal was a stretch for me, but I did it. Back in 2017ish I went on a multi-family camping trip to Yosemite and although it was incredibly beautiful, my fierce independence came to bite me in the ass. At the time, my ex-wife was in the middle of being pregnant with our son and I didn’t like our sleeping arrangement for the trip so I decided to set up my own tent so I could have some space and get some sleep. What no one told me (or maybe they did but I didn’t care to listen) was that setting up a tent is so much more than just an activity – you’ve got to think about what the impending weather will be, where your tent is set up, and ultimately, your safety during the night. Well, yours truly set up a tent in a bit of crater and didn’t think about the inches of rain that was supposed to come that night so imagine me being woken up during the night by torrential rainfall and deciding to stick it out. The next morning I was wet, cranky, annoyed and just committed to not enjoying the rest of that trip. Ugh. So I did it, probably won’t again but I learned a lot.

  4. Defy gravity jump out of something, or from something high…anything, just see what it’s like to be up high and not in a plane…unless I’m jumping [crap!]
    I don’t know why this made it on the list and looking at it now I just have no desire to do it – not out of fear, I’ve done a lot of scary things and will continue to do them but I think this is one of those things that I added to a) impress someone b) say that I did a thing that a lot of people have done c) for clout and at this point in my life, nah. Hard pass. If the opportunity presents itself I’ll be the first to jump at it but there’s not an actual lesson or life value I’m chasing on this one. I’ll decide if it stays for the 40/40 list but for now, sashay away.

  5. Experiment more stop living in the controlled box, step outside and see what it’s like, if I’m not scared, growth becomes hard
    Life is a big ol’ experiment isn’t it? Since making this list I’ve done countless things that have forced me outside the proverbial ‘box’ whether it was starting a family knowing all of my personal limitations, setting boundaries, having them broken and dealing with the me that’s on the other side of those crossed boundaries, starting a business, ending a business, taking the stretch job, starting and ending relationships, the list goes on. In the coming weeks/months I’ll likely be writing a lot about these ‘experiments’ because I’ve learned a lot about who I was, who I am, and who I’m becoming and today, I’m happy with him – he’s smart, funny, caring, vulnerable, fearless, and a little bit magical. Stay tuned here.

  6. Get certified to teach something yoga, spin, etc.
    I’ve written a lot on this blog about my journey with yoga and since then I earned by 200 hr Power Vinyasa Yoga certification, then my certification that allowed me to provide continuing education to yoga teachers, and most recently my 500 hr Power Vinyasa Yoga certification. In the past 8 years I’ve taught hundreds of students, thousands of hours, led multiple workshops, and teacher trainings, I really settled into my space as a guide for people on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual journey. Even though I’m not teaching or practicing every day as I used to and I closed the yoga center so many called home, I know that this element of my identity isn’t gone – it’s too ingrained in who I am. What that looks like moving forward? I don’t know yet – but it will be impactful, intentional, and meaningful to and for me.

So that’s part 1 – the first six items from the list. What would you put on your list of things you want to get done in the next five years?

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